Life

Lately, I have been very frustrated about Life.

I have been wondering what I am doing working as an Administrator in Church of St Ignatius. Is working life cut out like this for the next 30 years???

I am certainly not happy and with my interest in aerospace, photography and events planning, should I forge ahead and look for work in these areas. My worry is always will anyone hire a 42 year old guy and will the pay meet up with my expectations???

Every month I am very tired of look at the dollars and cents of daily paying of bills, and it is always a struggle of whether I have enough to keep the household afloat with the bills and food for the family. every month is always scraping the bottom of the barrel to meet ends. I always feel why there are people who are enjoying life with all the high pay and here I am always not enough.

I live very simply, no car, take 3 hours each day to travel to work and back home with bus and the MRT. I feel that this takes too much of my life and it is worth it? Is there anything that can be better?

I feel like giving up so many times, and yet when I look at my family I know I have to do the best for them. What do I have to do to get out ot this trap? I think I should look for something to do - extra income -- is there anyone out there to help me? What can I do?

AHHHHHHHHHHH! I feel so frustrated - just $90 for the next week till pay day. How to survive and feel so depressed!!!!!!!!!!!!

Class Renioun - SJI - 155th Founder's Anniversary

Hi

Yesterday, 30 Apr 2007, I went for the class renioun at the Shangri-La- Island Ballroom.

Aniticipation, anxious and excited was my feeling that day. You just don't know what to expect for such an occassion. Well, I always tell myself that I will enjoy myself no matter what happens. I believe that if you have this attitude you will always have a great time. Well I did and more. You see this feeling has an anticlimax. That morning my thoughts were for my Ngee Ann Poly friend Vincent Chia's as he just lost his mother through cancer.

I heard that his mother was diagnosed with cancer in 2002 and a year later his Father was also struck with cancer. He told me that his mother with great strenght journeyed with her husband to the path of recovery - pain and then now death. They died with only a space of 4 months. My thoughts go to him that he will be strong and that we will always pray that the strength of his mother's love will be theree for his family and also something we can learn from. So much to admire.

So I went to the dinner and initially, it was quite over-whelming as there were just no one I could recognise. But later I recognise some of the Josephian Brothers and said hello to them.

Soon I saw some familar faces and these are the guys I met and are my classmates or school mates that graguated from SJI in 1980.

Anthony Mak, Chester Tham, Lennard Thean, Michael Tay, Mervy Gay, Tan Kah Chye, Slyvester Grant, Brain Campos, Martin Chua and James Choo.

Some like Anthony and Brain I have seen frequently but the rest I have not seen for at least 7 years and like Lennard for almost 30 years. I felt a sense of "smallness" as they - to me- have made it- MDs,CEO, Big Business men, and Lawyers. I felt that after 30 years they have achieved so much and yet I am still stuck in this positio in my life.

We as usually asked each other how many kids and also griped about the sad truth that our sons will never go to SJI through affliation of Christian Primary Schools, but have to get in through merit.

I gues it is just reality that firstly SJI to me at least- has somehow lost its identity as because of admission through merit a lot of the boys are not from christian schools and a lot of them as not Catholics. Not offending anyone, the boys in our time and our father's time had time unity of Old boy's is the Catholic feeling and the feeling that we were Josephians. Now even my nephews just brush off that the scholl is just a school. So sad that the tradition of sons will always joing in our alma mater will continue but now always be so because of change and the fact the SJI have to keep its independence status by its results and we understand this but it is very sad.

Well, about the feeling of the guy that is not made it got a feeling of respect from my friends that said that even with all their status they envy my position of less stree of the private world. I said that now that I am out I always have this feeling of getting into it more for the monetary gains. But some of them told me I am lucky that I must believe that God will provide.. Maybe my faith have been pretty low recently. They are right you know.

It was pretty good to see they guys and now being good at organising events I have dreamt that we should not just meet through the School but maybe a more relax manner. I am thinking of having renting a chalet at Changi this December and having a BBQ and invite as many guys as possible. To offset cost maybe we can pool our resources and get this idea to reality.

To all the guys I met it has been great seeing you again. I wish you all the success with your family and good health to you and your loved ones. Take care and keep in touch.

Later...............